11:34 -

Proof that my life is a living hell. (On a digital clock, for those who don't know, 11:34 upside-down and backwards reads 'hell'. 34-11=23, 2/3=.666 etc etc...go watch The Number 23.)

I see this time at least once if not both times in a day. Just a friendly reminder that hell is not to far from home.

Anything that I could write on here would seem petty and insignificant, because I don't know how to show or prove that I'm at my wit's end.

I work 36 hours a week (over 6 days), and my mom works 25 (over 5 days). And yet there is MORE for me to do around the house. She cooks and cleans at work so she refuses to do it at home?

Also, since I work, I have to pay for almost ALL of my own stuff. I've never had an allowance. This is all my money. I have to buy 90% of my own dorm stuff. If I borrow the car, I have to put gas in it. I buy my own clothes (not a shocker) and my parents have already started giving me things I "need" instead of something I might want for my birthdays.

I am turning 18 in 10 days.
I am moving into my college dorm on the 20th of August.
I wish I was estranged from my family sometimes.
Becoming an adult is hell. It is bullshit.
And yet I know that I'm better off than ALL of my friends for it.

Paranoia

We may all know right and wrong,
but none of us know truth or reason.

Dear Blog,

You are my journal.
My escape.
My alternative to telling my friends all of my thoughts.

Don't get me wrong - I tell my friends things. Usually pointless stuff, but that's beside the point. I'm just waiting for the moment I really need to vent...but then again I know some of my friends read this anyways. So I fluff it up with things they know already, or will know eventually.

Last night me and two of my friends were driving around town, and randomly decided to take the two hour drive to Pennsylvania to look for fireworks. However...we got to the state around 11:45 pm. No stores were open, obviously. Only the 24/7 McDonalds and Food Mart were open. So we got food there, turned around, and went home. And it was amazing. 3 1/2 hours of driving for some crappy food but great memories.

One of my friends had this idea to make "summer lists" of what we want to accomplish this summer. Anything from serious and important, to things you've always wanted to do, to pointless fun things. "Random road trip out of state" got crossed off both of our lists last night.

I have a lot of stuff that I NEED to do this summer. And I lot of stuff I have planned on doing anyways. So it feels like I'll never finish my list...and with 28 things left to do, I'd say I need to get going!

These Words are Mine, the Pictures Aren't.

This is how my friend and I described ourselves. (We both watched the Project Runway, so a picture was really worth thousands and thousands of words.) Two very original, spazztic people who were randomly thrown together and created an amazing friendship. It's weird. I love it.

And I really would like to know who created that lovely Karaoke box and microphones in the picture.

On to the next pictures!
So I was thinking about that post a while back about my idea of a perfect man, or at least what I wanted these days, and I remembered another perfect example!

Miyavi is a Japanese musician. He's extremely talented. (That's a video of his guitar playing skills.) He's original and dabbles in all sorts of music from metal to rock to acoustic ballads.

In case you haven't noticed from the picture, he is a bit androgynous and in fact quite feminine looking. However a 6 feet tall and with a body covered in tattoos and piercings, he's my kind of guy.

He speaks English, so I'm not totally delusional? Whatever. I want to steal that hoodie at any rate.

And here's a poster...not that I can read it.

If I am a Clock Then You Are the Time...

The world works in mysterious ways, they tell us.
I think the world works in comical ways.

Routine Disaster

I am not a fan of routine.
Not only that, but I actually try to find a way out of it.
In school, my classes repeated every two days. I got that. I dealt with that.
But my environmental class! Twice every marking period we would do the SAME THING.
(Read chapter. Fill in study guide. Do matching definitions. Take test. Repeat.)
I hated it so much that i just didn't go to class a lot and opted to do extra credit instead.
And now here I am, with a fixed work schedule. I'm only a week or so into work so I can't really say how I like it. All I know is that I couldn't deal with a job with such a specific routine all my life.
Photographers don't have that sort of routine.
I'd rather struggle to get work done (like I did in school) than have a strict routine.
Change is addicting once you get started.