I have a feeling my life will always be like that. I feel free and happy, but deep down I know I'm missing certain things.
It feels just like when I used to smoke. When I had that cigarette in my fingers, I was happy. The other 95% of the time, I felt horrible.
When I quit, I felt happy 95% of the time, and horrible the other 5%. It was a good decision. But that doesn't keep me from thinking once in a while...'man, i wish cigarettes weren't so bad for you.'
I don't know what I want. Half the time I just want to say 'screw it' and grab a bottle of liquor and drown in it, and the other half of the time I'm proud of myself because I don't.
I don't like being in relationships because of the stress and because I get bored or paranoid (about myself, not the other person) but when I'm not in a relationship I feel like I'm the only person who isn't.
I'm so independent and strong, but sometimes I wish I wasn't.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I find, that the only way to get rid of this "free and empty" feeling is to simply decide what you really want in life (major goals). Because most of the time (in my case:) ) we're just going from one thing to another... feeling happpy only until we get what we want at that moment (and then we start thinking about the oportunity cost..). But if you're trying to get something that is soooo far away (but worth fighting for) you can probably avoid this whole emptiness (because you're actually never empty nor full:) )
Of course there is always the possibility to get bored along the way:) In that case...carpe diem or carpe noctem:) whatever works better for you..
I see what you mean! However I do have extreme goals for my life, many things to look forward to. It's more a sense of emptiness in my personal life, for which I have no goals. I tend to make up for that with thinking about the future, which should work well enough.
Post a Comment