Dreaming and Reality.

I rarely remember dreams these days. I recall the reoccurring ones as a child that had me waking with a scream or falling out of bed. I remember a few funny ones, but only bits and pieces. And then last night, I had this dream. These are the details I remember.

I was at school, and I woke up one day and saw that my teeth were cracking and falling out of my mouth. I called my mom, worried, and asked her what to do. She said not to worry, that it happens sometimes when you're sick with (insert weird name here). They would all fall out, and I would have to put them back together. I'd have to put them back in my mouth, and it would hurt, but everything would be okay. I said that I would try, but I wanted to go home and hide from the world with my toothless face. My mom told me that if I stayed at school, in my 'real world', that I would heal faster. 

Wow. At first I just got freaked out about this dream. Then I realized that it was symbolic. More and more so as I picked it apart. The fact that I have braces that are coming off soon hopefully has nothing to do with this.

I go to school only a few miles from home. I like to go home to relax and see my family and my best friend, even though I live in a dorm. Lately I've been losing (not as in misplacing, rather discarding) friends at a growing pace. My roommate said "You know, its ironic that at the beginning of the year you told me how you get new groups of friends often. But you thought this lot would be the 'real' ones. That they would stay. And now you only talk to one or two of them."

Its scary. But my life has been falling apart in little ways for a long time. I know I could control some of it if I tried, but I feel like giving up and crumbling instead. Its too hard, and it hurts to put all this effort in. But according to my dream, I very well need to do so.